So, my Derek Jarman story

Last time I was living in Ann Arbor, Michigan, my humanoid meat-based housemate and I shared an apartment in a mid-Twentieth complex, where he was known as my humanoid meat-based roommate, and sometimes as my ex, but that’s another story for another time. The important thing is that I had had a pretty lousy week, on the day in question. I had come home from somevasundry chore or another, and as it was the middle of summer, I decided it was completely appropriate to crank up the A/C, sit around in my skivvies, and watch Derek Jarman’s Sebastiane whilst eating cottage cheese right out of the tub with a spork that had been sitting on the kitchen counter (in my defense, it WAS clean). Also good to know is that, when I’m awake, I don’t keep the doors locked.

Now, Sebastiane is pretty much a 70min cock fest. There is maybe 15min of the entire film where at least half the characters in said scene are fully clothed, and that guess is probably too high. The official reason that Jarman gave for all the nudity? There wasn’t enough money in the budget for costumes. (A likely story!)

So, I’d sat down with my cottage cheese, and maybe ten minutes in, the door to the apartment flues open, and in runs this kid, couldn’t’ve been more than five, maybe six, and clearly fresh in from the pool. Just before he really passed the foyer, he stopped dead in his tracks, and I paused the film on a scene that thankfully wasn’t yet full of penis. We don’t make eye contact, but upon realising that this clearly was NOT his apartment, he backed out slowly and closed the door ever so gently.

I spent the next ten minutes with the film still paused, frozen in terror and just *waiting* for an irate mother to bang down my door and give me a real talking-to about how I shouldn’t be sitting in my skivvies in the middle of the day in my own apartment whist eating cottage cheese straight out of the tub. Cos a lot of people in Ann Arbir are jyst that fuckin uptight. Thankfully, no-one yelled at me, or even acknowledged that it happened, cos the kid probably jyst got mixdd-up after coming in from the pool –it happens.

I got a super-generous donation from another rabbit today, and now am just under 73% of my goal! That means that if all twenty-one subscribers to this blog donates just *$18* (that’s ten dollars less than yesterday!), I’m totally good to go!



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