The handful of my Of Thespiae readers who also follow me on Teh FarceBorg may already recall that I’m at risk of being homeless at the end of this summer. This is problematic for a few reasons –I have health problems, Mr Nigel Prancypants (my cat) and I are emotionally dependent on eachother, and, well, as my friend Mr McElligot once said, a home is.. something wisevand stuff… Sorry, I haven’t been sleeping well, lately, and I’m on the tablet, and it just isn’t worth looking up the chatlogue on FB right now, so fuck it –but it was very wise. Something about roots. I’m also broke, I have barely over $100 saved up for all sundry moving-to-a-warmer-climate stuff-and-nonsense, which I can totally dig into, if I have to, but I’m still hoping to raise separate moving funds.
That said: I have thought about this logically, and I have meditated on this, and I have consulted divinations, when applicable, and I have concluded that it is in my best interests to move back to Ann Arbor, until I can leave Michigan.
It makes a lot of good basic sense to move back to the Ann Arbor / Ypsilanti area. All of my doctors are there, as much as the AATA sucks, the public transit in A2/Ypsi is actually a lot better than it is in Lansing (and as a disabled Medicare recipient, I qualify for a free bus pass in A2, where in Lansing, it’s only discounted), and there are greater social resources (where here, especially after my friend Jay quit the Goth/Industrial night up the street from me [due to regular double-booking], all my social life potential here is connected to FetLife, and I have a low tolerance for most kinkyfolk outside fet settings, or now my friend Ace’s drag night is monthly, and sometimes I can get in on carpooling to concerts in Detroit a few times a year). The downside is that A2 is **expensive**, and while Ypsilanti is better, it’ll still be a “roommate required” sitch, but here’s the fun part: I was in A2 last week (fourth Mon of June 2014), and whilst killing time at Crazy Wisdom’s tea room upstairs from the bookstore, I casually asked the manager, who I just thought was another barrista, if she hires part time or seasonal, and she said she pretty much only hires part time, but you gotta commit to a year, at least, and I said “I can probably do at least a year, I’m just mostly familiar with people only offering me seasonal, cos I’m disabled,” and she said “well, if you can move back to A2/Ypsi, come by, fill out an app, and I’ll put you to work.” So I’ve got a job lined up, I even told her that I can only really do two or three days a week.
On all logical grounds, it just makes sense to go back. I hate the students, and 80%+ of the townies aren’t much better, but all my doctors are there, and I’ll have a social life again. I’ll have a part-time job, and hopefully that’ll enqble me to save money to move out of this state, if only for the sake of my chronic pain.
On the spiritual side:
I know when I first moved here, I was excited about the house with garden, but that first summer, I think I strained my back while excavating grass, and my relationship with this house has been on a steady decline. I have suspected since recovering my back, that the local spirits in this city and I don’t really “gel”. I don’t know Who or Whose deities are especially active here in Lansing, and I’ve often felt either too physically weak or too emotionally depressed to find out. I respect Them That Live Here, and they seem to respect me, but it’s like when you meet someone that seems interesting at first, maybe you have a few things in common, but nothing that “really matters”, and you two never have anything to talk about. I think it might also be contributing to some of the spiritual stagnation I’ve had here.
Now, I don’t talk about that stagnation much, especially here, cos it’s kind of embarrassing. I went from being so spiritually active in the A2/Ypsi area, even that period after my surgery (which I now understand as a temporary enforced taboo), I was active: Painting regularly, divining near-daily, *my plants thrived* whereas here, I’ve somehow killed everything but my laurel and a zygocactus I got the winter my older cat, Vermin, died –and I got so depressed that winter my cat died that I almost killed my laurel. I have barely read coffee or tea since I’ve been in Lansing. I haven’t painted anything on canvas in the three years I’ve been here, and I only got around to painting my leather jacket when it became clear that I had to move (even though it took me a while to admit I had to return to A2) –I’ve wanted to paint, even bought a huge canvas for a painting of The Fates, but after I brought it home? All drive to actually paint it left, and I have been unable to get the car started, again.
I’ve been spiritually minded, I’ve started doing all sorts of research, and Nocturnal Spirits, but so little has actually come of this, that I doubt it’s me, at this point –and I was afraid for a long time that it was all me.
Now, I referred to Ann Arbor as “Apollon’s City” because it is. Apollon is active all over that area, even Ypsilanti and Saline. It might explain why Apollon was the first deity contact I had before “officially” coming to Hellenismos. he’s at the hospital, the university, the libraries, and a lot of streets and addresses I’ve since learned are associated with music from the area. I think returning to Apollon’s city might be good for me, spiritually, as well, especially as Eros and Apollon have always been my spiritual constants in life, even when I wasn’t aware of it, even when I was an eight-year-old in Toledo, fresh witb my D’Aulaire book and feeling Apollon with me in the choir.
Time is NOT on my side. There’s the Polytheist Leadership Conference next week (and I only got my ticket in the mail about a week and a half ago –a ticket I bought at the end of May), and I had to dip into my Conference Catering Money, and maybe my half of the Conference Room Money last week, whilst in Ann Arbor, checking out rooms for rent. I think I’ve already lost one such room cos it’s been so hot I couldn’t sleep well, and missed a 1 July deadline to get in a sublet application, so barring some birthday miracle, there goes that. Plus, whilstbat Crazy Wisdom last week, I also met a girl who’d be looking to move into an apartment around the same time I’d NEED one, and we really seemed to click (she’s a cat person, loves wine and cheese, into yoga, semi-veg), but so far we’ve had lousy timing in getting a hold of eachother to work out a day to meet up in thevA2/Ypsi area and check places out –and I really hope that something with her could work out, cos I’m usually really apprehensive about moving in witb strangers who aren’t at least a friend-of-a-friend, but we’ve already got a bit in common, and I like her energy. If all else fails, hopefully my friend Patrick will be able to take me in for a bit, and I know my friend Jeff can store my books, LPs, and DVDs.
So, in part to help raise money for the move, I’m planning on bringing my coffee service to the Polytheist Leadership Conference and doing $10 readings. I’m going to donate a dollar from each reading to The Maetreum of Cybele as an offering to the Goddess, and a dollar each reading to RAINN, and hopefully the rest will help me move back to the A2/Ypsi area.