So, after a couple years of fighting it, last week, I signed up for Google Analytics and plugged some code into all of the Hellenistai Project sites (though the wiki was the last one, just cos I was trying to avoid opening up the appropriate file in Notepad), and since now it’s been a week, I figured I’d start a new regular feature around here: The weird shit that brings people to the Gods
Wel, more accurately, this would be “The weird shit that brings people to a bunch of sites occupied by people who’s most constant shared quality is their love for the gods”, but that doesn’t roll off the tongue as well, and hey, if even one person a week found something on the Hellenistai sites that resonnated with the, spiritually, that not only makes “…brings people to the Gods” true, but it means my work at plugging keywords into this stuff to lay some decent SEO work is doing some good not just for hit counters, but for the community. After all, just cos the homo-fags can’t make their own babies doesn’t mean that they can’t bring in fresh meat.
Furthermore, this may not be something that the average Hellene would find spiritually relevant, but as Rev. Dr. Rho Iota Mu from The Church of the SubGenius, as I recognise “Bob” as a disciple of Hermes (don’t try to convince me the God of commerce, theives, story-tellers, and vagabonds wouldn’t appreciate the idea of a church whose only sin is not giving them $30, and with the promise of “eternal salvation or triple your money back”), this is of especial interest to me, as some of it is pure wrongness, and wrongness breeds slack — albeit, only if it’s the proper kind of wrongness, which this is. (How’s that logic for you? Perfectly circular! Hail Hermes! Praise “Bob”!)
This week, the weirdest search engine phrases that brought people to the forum is a bit of a tie:
1) “youngsoulrebel trans” — and it’s sixteen hits from the same person who apparently can’t just get over the fact that my squiddley bits don’t make my testosterone for me. Probably somebody I had to hand their own arse to on FetLife — obviously somebody who makes my beloved Pope No-Life look like he has one.
2) “kevin smith religion” — O_O I have no idea what this is about, or why it brought somebody to the forum. My only hope is that they took the right message from their visit, even if it wasn’t the one they thought they were looking for.
Nothing brought people to Of Thespiae, nor the Wiki, nor the shiny new media blog/webzine that I didn’t expect or would otherwise come as a total “wtf?” on whatever level, so I close with the weirdest keyword search that brought people to Urban Hellenistos — THAT would have been the phrase “slap a girl menstruating in greece”.
OK, I wrote that that post about miasma and menstruation, but the only instance of the word “slap” in that post is from the phrase “slap a bandage on it”. This is possibly the weirdest thing that will bring anybody to this blog, or ANY site on the Hellenistai.com domain ever (technically, this blog and OT aren’t part of the Project, but they’re on the same domain just to keep things simpler for people). Truly, this world has strange people in it — like that guy who’s made Philadelphia the U$ city where the Hellenistai Forum is most-popular by IP number. Tell us about it, Gordon:
Dead serious, next post will be about how my apartment complex has nymphai, and my first review to the media blog is scheduled for Wednesday (tomorrow, at this point). May take a few days on the next one for here, as I’ve got something for OT planned about the “elf home” in my fridge.